Stop the Comparison. Throw Out the Rule-Book. the car chat that shook me.
- Heather Newman
- Oct 15
- 2 min read
You’re in your 20s. You see the posts: marriage, kids, house, career. All the “when you shoulds”.
Here’s the truth: you don’t owe society a timeline. You owe yourself alignment.
We’ve been sold a story.Graduate. Start your career. Meet “the one”. Get married by 25. Buy a house by 30. Have kids. Climb the ladder. Retire.
And live “happily ever after.”But what if that story was never meant for you?
What if you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel and measuring your worth by someone else’s stopwatch?
Here are the facts to shake up that narrative:
The current divorce rate in the U.S. is about 2.4 divorces per 1,000 population (45 reporting states, 2023) according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. CDC+1
Approximately 33 % of U.S. marriages ended in divorce in 2022-2023 (measured by divorce-to-marriage ratios) — not a lifetime rate, but a reflection of how the system is shifting. ConsumerShield
To live “comfortably” in many U.S. cities in 2025:
A single adult needs roughly $85,446/year in many regions.
A combined salary for two working adults with two children can exceed $200,000/year in many regions.
Meanwhile, housing is expensive: as of 2025, the median home costs $416,900 — nearly five times the median annual household income of $83,150.
What does all this tell us?
That the “one income + house + kids + timeline” formula is now more complicated, more expensive, more pressure-laden than ever.
So here’s what I’m saying to you in your 20s:
Stop the comparison. Your path doesn’t have to look like theirs.
Throw out the rule-book you never agreed to.
Decide what you really value. Not what your parents valued, not what society says, but you.
If you don’t want kids? That’s okay. If you don’t want a house right now? That’s okay. If you want to focus on your career first? That’s okay.
Know you. Before you attach your worth to someone else who’s not aligned with your values.
Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
Remember: what matters to you now in your 20s will shift by your 30s or 40s. I’ve been around long enough (level 56, remember?) to tell you: alignment always beats following a timeline.
You are the designer. Of your peace. Your purpose. Your timeline.
If you’re ready to rebuild your story from the ground up — not from someone else’s checklist — join me.
Today at 4 PM CST on the Get Unstuck Podcast, we dive deeper.
Comments